Monthly Archives: November 2013

I love toads……

One look at Surya and you will find a decent looking, small stature person, wearing rimmed  spectacles, Square face, with a resolute chin.  His hair is all dishevelled after a 15 mile ride in an Auto Rickshaw from Atapur  to Punjagutta Chowk.  So, rather than a professional , he looks  more like a guy who  has been fired ,he has a small bulge in his belly, not uncommon for professionals in his company, with all those daily allowances.
He looks likes the hundreds other backpack carrying, formal wearing professionals roaming here and there hailing autos, running after buses and cabs,  calling an end to another miserable day at work.
It’s all new for him, because at his previous location he was the only guy in the above mentioned attire.
Initially he was not very happy with the transfer, but it took only one Veg-Biryani at the Paradise to convince him otherwise, apart from the politeness and cooperative nature of the people (except the Auto –Rickshaw Walla’s).
Surprising , well yes, attribute it to the one odd stroke of luck in this life or his  own accurate  self –assessment, he has chosen for himself quite a less trodden path for Engineers.
Not that he had planned for this.
His work if we start to explain going by his own admission  has no end or start.
One day you may find him inspecting the toilets for cleanliness like a Municipal Inspector, the next preparing joint inspection reports with some hot shot technical guy. He is also required to resolve the Disputes between the customer and the  car dealer as if he some ombudsman .Even after this much of process and paper work he is expected to have astute diagnostic skills so that he should be able to identify the vehicle trouble by  just hearing its noise.
Other than this he has to resolve the HR problems of the workshop employees. He for them is a star , a standard against which they measure everything. But in reality he is just a half baked engineer, who has just learned to survive the college life with a sharp tongue and XEROX notes.
Out of the blue, his face begins to lose colour, as if something had stung him and he was trying to brave it.
But the pain was too obvious; the hardening of  jaw muscles were the indicators of the effort it was taking him not scream his heart out.
Then he decided to do what he has been too afraid to do from the last 3 months.
One ring, two rings, third ring…..and it begins
 “Hi, how are you?”
“I am good. But I can’t hear you properly. Where are you, there is so much noise in the background, are you outside?”
“Yes, I am waiting for an Auto near a crossing”
“Firstly you never call for like ages and when you call it’s always from these crowded places only? We can talk when you reach home”
“No, wait.(He takes a deep breath)It’s like when I am surrounded by a sea of people , my heart starts to ache for one person I want to see more than anyone on this earth.”
 Thanks.  I could never figure you out completely”.
“So, how’s life?”
“Dead”
“Hey don’t say like that, I told you na, no one dies for anyone, life goes on”
Well mine’s stalled, “When is the D-DAY?”
Silence for 3 minutes
“13th
  He grinds his teeth, breathes fire…..
Even in this din and noise this sentence of her puts a vacuum in between Surya and world, for a second he is unable to even feel anything .His body goes numb. He mentally curses himself for calling her. He always gets these anxiety attacks by calling her. You never learn son of a bitch.
There is a surge of anger inside him, a feeling he never experienced before, its like the rage the Lord Shiva must have felt when Sati had jumped in the fire before opening that 3rd eye.
“Are you there?”, she asks.
“Yes, I am good, take care, and got to go”
On the Brink of tears “Ok bye, I will call you later”
“Please don’t”
“Bye”. Just in time so that he doesn’t hear her crying
She immediately rushes towards the bathroom, with her hand on her mouth to muffle the sobs, she wails and cries. Those muffled cries which nobody but he can understand, why this had to happen?? Why?
Why God gives you such blessings and then takes them away as quickly as they come?
But then she stands up, looks up in the mirror;the red eyes, the swollen lips. She washes her face again and again. Takes a deep breath and tries to relax. Her cousins are waiting outside for her to select the saris  and jewellery for them. She puts on a fake smile and rushes outside.
Surya is 1500 KMs away from her in an unknown city.
He just stares in to the gravel beneath his feet and thinks, what would it take to get her back in my life?
He is brought back to this world by the shouts of an auto Walla.
Auto wallah is a lanky man in his early twenties, wearing a cap; with as much of holes as the cheese in Tom n jerry. His longish face which ends in a small extended chin like the beard of Pharohs  that could have been  considered handsome had he dressed a bit better, not that striking, but enough to get yourself a GF.
“Aein bhaiyaan kaha ko jayenga??”
“East  Maredpally, near Chenoy nursing home” but hell will do okay.
“100 rupayian lagenga”
Surya, who was too tired to haggle, got in without a word of protest.
He always enjoyed travelling alone; he could just stare at the moving mass of men and vehicles
 And let his mind think about the questions which are eating him up from inside.
What he wants? Why is he always unhappy? Why? Why??
It was raining and traffic was as usual moving like an overfed serpent
 “Aye bhaiyan, Mai iddrech hun,English me kaisa bolna ka” in typical Hyderabadi style.
 “I am here” ,smiles.
“ Matlab?”
 “I am here in Begumpet.”
“Theek theek(okay,okay) Aye aam heer,acha”
“Tumhari girl friend puchti h kya?” Chuckling (Does your girl-friend asks this from you?)
“Han Bhaiyan,bahut hi-fi h wo, saali pata nai kiddreech se padi h”
“hahahaha”
It brought back happy memories of the time he was trying to teach the nuances of Kashmiri language to Nanu in the college park, ….aaah that park…..that park had a small dirty pond at the centre, full of toads and every time they walked around that pond a toad would jump in front of them and Nanu used to cling to him, her eyes shut and shrieking, and for that moment he used to feel gratitude not only the toads but their whole phylum. 
For that touch used to make his day.
He never knew it, but Nanu used to dissect toads by a single slash of her blade in her Under-grad lab, she was braver than he was in all respects. But then she just never bothered to tell him.
But the honking of an over eager biker brought him out of his reverie back to this cruel, wet and static reality that he is not going to spend the rest of life with her, that he will not be able to even see her for the rest of her life after D- DAY, that he has to learn to live without her, day after day after day.
This thought shook him from the core and he sulked back in his seat, looking like a man who has weathered too many storms.
From a small drizzle it has begun raining, which makes traffic even more difficult to move. So, the bored Auto walla again prods him into a conversation.
AW: So, what do you sir? In typical Hyderabadi.
Surya: I am the guy who comes to your rescue when you get cheated at a car workshop.
AW: Oh, I thought you are a computer person…
To be continued….some later day………….

PS: Go ahead and make that “call”
It’s a piece of fiction.

Advertisements

KRRISH # whatever…

“4.30 pm show, PVR, second last row, you coming? Arpit asked.
“Ask Sid”, I replied.
“I am asking you”
“Okay”
“Done”
Then he went to Sid’s room.
“Krish, 4.30 show”
“Ok”, said Sid, “but I have booked bus tickets for Chennai”.
“What is the boarding time?”
“9 PM, near Paradise circle”
“Ok, it will be over by then”.
“Cool”
“Its 2.30 Pm now, we will leave in an hour”
“Okay boss”, came the reply from both the rooms in unison.
“Your wish is my command master”, I added.
I can’t recall from which movie I picked it up, but it kind of sounds funny in these situations.
After one Hour:
“Get ready people or we will be late”, Arpit.
“Just let me smooth these wrinkles on my T-shirt” I replied.
“Don’t forget to unplug the iron, after you are done with it”
“Aye Aye Captain”
“I am ready” said Sid.
“Okay”
“Let’s roll”.
On the building we hail for Auto Rickshaws, after a few no-responses, one Auto stops in front of us.
 “How much till PVR”
“150”
“No way, 150 is till Jubilee hills, for Punjgutta, it’s not more than 70”
“120”
“80”
“110”
“90”
“100”
“Done”
And after this masterful haggling by Sid.(We are still paying him 40 bucks extra over metered charges). We hop in.
The auto has some issue with its engine, as soon he accelerated , instead of moving fast, a lamberata type sound came, which made us chuckle.
“Bhaiya jaldi chalo movi 4.30 ka h, aaj hi dekhna h”, Sid in his inimical accent.
“Cinema …something in telugu….jadli nako, time h, time h
Again he accelerates, again we chuckle.
Every vehicle, be it the motorized or otherwise was moving ahead of us.
We were talking about something that happened at work during the day, and as all honorable north Indians, B-word escaped my lips.
Sid widened his eyes, pointing towards the driver, as Telugu people have sensitive ears in this respect.
And it took no time.
“Chickna  gora ladka……something… something …UP Rajasthan….something…gaali nako…something   something….”
“Sorry uncle, I was in UP for 8 months, it will take some time”, I sheepishly apologized.
I don’t know what he replied, but something about, small city, 5 km diameter, 24 years….no idea.
But one thing was clear; I have to unlearn abusive words which now have become an integral part of speech in my Hindi.
Luckily my Kashmiri is fine; even after 5 years of exile from home I still manage to have a conversation in chaste Kashmiri
I daily practice it.My Mom calls me twice a day to check on me.
Now we finally reached our destination on time.
Screen No. 5-Krish 3.
But we had no breakfast, so Sid joined the food counter queue to get us some lunch.
One cold stale burger with Popcorn (250 gm) and Coke (250 ml), this was the cheapest combo worth 330 Rupees, and my mind started calculating how many days of groceries we could have purchased.
But nevertheless, these question are not be asked, when you have received salary just six  hours back.
Till that time I engaged myself in checking out the crowd.
Couples with kids, couples with no kids and couples about to have kids in a couple of month, all kinds of couples; uncles and aunties, grandmas and grandpas.
Except the Biryani (Veg of course), there is not much a north Indian can look for, especially a single guy. No offence to Andhra chicks.
So, we picked our trays and moved faster towards the screen, my Hot Dog was to be delivered at my seat during the movie.
Theatre was quite grand this time; one could hear the whispers and discussions kids were having regarding their super-heroes.
They must have been counting days to watch the movies.
People were munching popcorns and there was quite a bit of excitement around.
We easily found our seats.
I was sitting beside a 45-something guy, who was munching Nachos, and surprisingly he was alone.
I never used to notice these things, but my 8 month living alone thing makes me do that.
I had this urge to ask that man that how could he watch a movie alone.
Because in my line of work, you are mostly like a lone wolf in the jungle, but somehow, I didn’t. I could have done with a few tips
After 4 years of college, where you don’t even pee alone, watching a movie alone in a theatre and munching nachos too, is a feat that appears daunting to me. Though, I know a few friends in my Company who have become the masters at this art.

So, next the screen came alive .For next 15-20 minutes, we were seduced to purchase gold, Real-Estate ,credit cards, life insurance and what not in  Hindi, English and Telugu.I omitted the nagging Vicco Bajridanti —-vicco bajridanti….loop  because Arpit is a big fan of the brand, other wise,could have added  one more venomous  line …  
There was a dark handsome actor in one of the advertisements and I asked my friend a bit loudly that “Ye kaun h be”.
And even in this dim light I could see some heads turning towards me menacingly.
Oh he is some big shot, got it.
My Telugu colleague had advised me sometime before when I had knowingly passed lewd remarks at their all-too-revealing posters, that Telugu people don’t like funny remarks about their film industry.
Okay, so one more things added to my forthcoming novel 100 things you-don’t-say-in–Andhra
Finally the movie began.
I am just sharing some snippets which made me laugh.
And we started munching our 1000 rupees-worth-unhealthy-junk-food.
Frankly I had not seen Krish-2, though I had tried twice, but even then I could not help my dropping eyelids.
But an introductory keynote speech in the movie cleared all the doubts.
So, you can still watch if you have missed Krish 2 or K-2 for I failed twice to mount (watch it).
The movie starts with Father Hritik Roshan, conducting some experiment with mirrors and sunlight.
It reminded of me of the one of the experiment Leonard (from Big Bang theory, if you haven’ watched that, I forbid you from reading my blog) was conducting in his lab when Penny comes in and they end up having you very well know.
Anyways he made a ray of sunlight to be reflected from a number of well placed mirrors and then on to a very sophisticated tip of pen, which then gets activated and produces some even brighter ray which is directed towards a small welted potted plant. Initially green leaves start to appear but within a minute a blast occurs.
Son Hritik Roshan’s opening scene is shirtless well that was expected, his chiseled body is stunning.
I am left thinking that in order to achieve such physique, my body needs to be solidified and only then some sculptor can carve out the abs and cuts.
At this age, he is 40 something, such physique commands respect.
Next we see that our Hunk works as a security guard and he is fired the same day for dereliction of duty. He was busy busting the goons of the same shopping complex. Job always sucks.
This scene was really left everyone chuckling by the comic timing of Rajpal Yadav.
Next we see that an Aero-plane has some snag with the front wheel.
Its shock absorber  has jammed, this is preposterous, it doesn’t happen in even Indian  manufactured cars, what to say about Boeing (give me some credibility here)
I WONDER when Boeing is going to sue the Roshans.
But nevertheless, this scene apart from the shock absorber  twist is taken straight away from the Superman movie.
Had Sushter and Siegal(creators of Superman) been alive today, they would have happily crawled back to their graves  after seeing this.
But as expected our Krrish mustered all his powers and got the Plane to land safely. On the Airport, you get to see an Air India Plane parked.
I bet they did that unknowingly, seeing the current state of our Indian carrier, they can’t even afford the salaries.
Next shot that we see is some heart wrenching archived footage of an epidemic in some 4thworld country, which is put to use to describe a disease outbreak in today’s Namibia.
Researchers all over the world are trying to find the cure including Father Hritik Roshan who has been described as the last hope.
We get to know in a few minutes that this epidemic was man-made  and an International (but all employees were Indian) Pharmaceutical company whose head quarters instead of New York or Washington  were on a lonely hill in  Arctic circle was behind it. So far believable, but who names his company as “KAAL” Pharmaceutical .I don’t know about other countries, but in India no one will ever purchase his medicine from them for sure.
This is taken from the Mission Impossible 2, in which Cruise battles the fellow IMF agent (antagonist) for the chimera (disease) and bellarophon (antidote) which was made by a pharma named Biocyte FYI
The head quarters more than a company headquarter seems like an Observatory .But the Dog sledge scene was a testament to the fact that that the scene was not shot in India.
And the costume designer had no qualms of using the dress of White Witch from Narnia on Vivek Oberoi albeit the dark one, the only thing that was missing a tightly corseted cleavage (Censor board would have passed it, the way they pass all the Bollywood songs with expletives) and a wand.
So, till now three Hollywood movies have gone into the making of Krrish 3, so I hope you get why # 3 is more apt than Krrish Returns with new abs or Krrish Reloaded on Diwali.
At this time, I see some person in the dark trying to reach me fervently, don’t worry, I didn’t make passes at any lady .It was the Hot Dog Guy.
He  cautiously hands over me  the plate.
Finally something to eat, I take a bite at the bread and a bit of stuff in middle and the world comes crashing down. It’s not what I had ordered; in the dark I didn’t notice the fucking red dot. I immediately spit it out much to the annoyance of others. The lone wolf sitting beside me shifted seats after hearing the longest expletive ever invented in the land of five rivers. My friends started laughing. It felt as if I had tasted poison, how can Non-Veg people even gulp it down. I am at loss. But our scriptures mention that a mistake is not a mistake which is done in dark or unknowingly, that’s a tenet our rapists have followed  this financial year.
Thank God I was born in a family of Vegetarians by choice.
All I am left is with 250 ml Coke to satisfy my hunger and anger.
Back to the movie now, after this epidemic case is resolved, we come to know that it is Krish’s birthday. At the  the same time we get to know that Krrish 4 is also in the pipeline. Well, Priyanka Chopra is pregnant so isn’t is obvious. Wait for the #4 installment to spoil your Diwali in coming years.
But this happiness is short lived as mutants who are the unwanted results of Kaal’s experiments, attack their house.
No comments on mutants, they were pathetic. If you have watched any installment of X-Man, as Arpit had religiously done, you can even tell their names,Mystique and Kitty combo in Kaaya, toad, Xavier and Magneto combo as Kaal.
One thing which puzzled me, is that their home is in some hill station like Kasuali or Chamba, but they daily commute to work in Mumbai having seen the traffic situation there, is it plausible? I WONDER on that goof up, but continue sipping my drink.
You have to be fooled in order to be entertained, leave analytics at your home.
Another goof up which made me spill my drink was when Kangana replaces Priyanka as  Krrish’s wife. Kaal Is the result of some botched experiment with the DNA of Father Hritik Roshan , so it makes him biologically his son. Kaaya is also born in the similar way, which makes her the daughter of Kaal. Now that  Kaal and Krish are biologically brothers. So, how can Kaaya sleep with Krish, her handsome uncle? How did censor board pass this incest? I JUST WONDER and sip my warm coke.

There were many other scenes which attracted my wrath, but I am skipping that, because after watching it, I will not make you to relive that again.
And they even had a dance and song sequence which use the same location minus the trees which was leased during the shooting of Ghajini  (Tu meri adduri pyaas pyass), the only difference was that Krrish has  better cuts and the song has pathetic lyrics. I compose better lyrics than this while biding my time on a toilet seat.
After this the niece Kaaya betrays her dad Kaal and leads Uncle Krish to the SHQ (my colleagues will chuckle at this), in Arctic circle where Kaal has kept Priyanka her poor sister-in-law who is half an hour pregnant with Krrish#4.A fight breaks out between Kaal and Krrish ,but Kaal  uses to his  advantage the powers of both Mr. Xavier and Mr. Magneto in banging the skull of Krrish against every wall in the room.
He has finally found  out his long-lost-but-never-missed father in Father Hritik Roshan and as Voldemort was resurrected from  the bone of Tom Riddle his father, he also resuscitates from the handicap using the BONE MARROW of his father.
In an interview leading to the release Vivek Oberoi had mentioned that his suit weighed about 28 Kgs and was designed with a lot of craft.
So, I was hoping it will be up to the mark, but like my Hot Dog, it was pure crap, aluminium pieces with frayed ends can be obtained from the scrap of the Punching press in any auto-mobile plant even for  free.
And the way his Helmet was made, as if he was going to face Brett lee and Shoaib together.

A line comes to my mind often used in Dogri, ye to sirf soshein hai.

As expected our Kaal crushes Krish and leaves him fatally wounded.
But his father using that Pen that was used in the opening scene to blow life in the dead plant, gets the rays focused on Krrish, but it caused tissue damage to our hero, So he decides to filter the rays through him. A great sacrifice, but guess who would be happy to see him dead, ironically Hritik himself. It is not easy to play a childish-portly- middle-aged-man. With all that make up and manner of speech, really a class act, but too taxing when you are doing so many stunts hanging by that wire all day.
Then both the estranged brothers decide to take the party to town, where we get to see some Matrix like stuff, like stopping the bullets etc.
It is followed by an extremely well shot fight scene which was pretty interesting.The way the buildings were smashed and glass panes were crushed.HULK fans must be having all the fun.

But at the end,by a stroke of genious(of Rakesh Roshan) , Krrish decides to use the PEN and the Sun rays to corner the Kaal. Initially Kaal starts laughing when rays strike him.But the rays melt his suit and laughter, all  that is left of him is in a  motlen puddle of aluminium spread out on a debris.

Hence proved that 
“Pen is mightier than sword and all the mutations and even their combos possible “.
Disclaimer from the Author:
1. This article is a labor of love towards Bollywood directors , who in spite of the tiny budgets expose us to the sci-fi treats.
2.“Something something” has been taken from the Chetan Bhagat’s novel “Two states…”, just in case he decides to sue me.
3. I fully admire the Andhra beauties. (I don’t want to be single in AP).
4. I abhor Non-Veg food but not non-vegetarians, we are all the prisoners of our urges, please note.

Enjoy and do comment your reviews

Lance-Cheat-Strong

So, another hero fallen from the grace, he was an inspiration to millions across the world, the symbol of hope for cancer patients and sport-people.He was the guy who bought the cycling out of the French National TV to the world Stage.
Seven time champion, unblemished record. He is also the author of a number of books on his struggle against cancer and consequent triumph. He must be thinking twice on that now, huh.
There is a famous Quote by one of the former Prime ministers of UK
“You can fool some people all the time or all the people some time, but u can never fool all the people all the time”.
There are indeed hounds living within us who are deep rooted in the reality and who are not carried away by the fairy-tale stories of success. While the ordinary guys spends his life measuring himself against the standards of their fake success these hard-nosed people look into the trash bins of these .Salute to their passion and zeal in unearthing  the truth,come what may.
I too had my share of cheating; we all at some point or other are forced to do some correction for covering up the aberrations that prop up now and then. But what matters is how you are affected by that, after sinning or during the process. How your psyche reacts to your cheating, or how your perception of you as a person is affected. These are indeed meta-physical things but then this is how the things spell out. A small 250 odd gm split walnut kernel controls every twitch in the body, so we should be aware what goes into it. 
I  have an anecdote to share which was my first brush with cheating and how it backfired on me.
Once upon a time in college, me and my friends the close ones (who scored the same grades as me) by some lucky chance got the question paper of our final exam in my 7th semester, I will not mention the subject because then some of my college-mates may un-friend me on Face book. So it was it in front of me by the evening before the exams , sweet 10 questions written in blue ink on a plain A4 sheet, I checked  my Xeroxes whether I had the answers or not.So far so great. Now began the struggle. All my college life, I had average grades nothing fancy. It was always difficult for me put myself to study the Xerox copies.
So, accordingly it appeared to me as a boon. But was it? Let’s see.
The moment I got the paper, first reaction was yawn…Smiling of course, and then the three of us sat watching a newly released Bollywood movie. It took another 3 hours of our time. So, till 9 pm my brain cells were absorbing the audio-visual treat of Indian cinema. After 9 PM what next?  You grab your notes, run to your room, curse yourself for wasting time, get under the quilt and start mugging. Ideally that was the plan, but that was not meant to happen.
Now you must be thinking that why I am bringing this story up, the reason is that it was straight forward cheating on our part. And it was the closest I have ever come to this menace of cheating/embezzling/forgery etc.
So,next after leaving the cinema hall( I mean my friends room, lest Andaz Apna Apna may again get released), I picked up  my share of notes out of the pile and dragged myself out to study quietly in my room. I switched on the lights, pulled over the quilt , took good  5 minutes to decide in which position I should study, I mean on the table or on bed on my belly or the on my back with pillows propping up my neck. But it was indeed a useless exercise as with 5 minutes I tried all the three positions at least three times , o the writing on the wall was clear, I ain’t in the mood, it was like I had lost complete control of myself, I tried to instil fear into me thinking like may be the paper will get changed etc,you need best grades  and other useless stuff .But nothing of this worked within less than 10 minutes three of us were again in front of the laptop. Searching every NEW FOLDER (if you know what I mean)  ever created on the machine. But finally the old boys decided in favour of a time tested bond movie.So,again the Bitch named time sat on the rocket and boom , the clock shows 11.30 PM(Including 2 mini bio-breaks, and 1 very natural but hazardous calls from nature, blame the acidic hostel food). Its 11.30 Pm and yours truly is still motivating himself to study at least those questions that are actually going to come into the exam. Later on I figured it would have taken me just over 2 hours to mug them up, but alas we can connect the dots only backwards.  Then I figured that maybe I should take a nap and wake up in the morning too study, as if after waking up these are going to be any interesting, I put the alarm on my mobile as 4 am. And guess what,I woke up at  3.45 am, then again closed my eyes thinking that there is still time , and that was where the Battle of Waterloo was lost by Napoleon, next thing I know I am being woken up my friends just in time so that I can change in to some decent  clothes to leave for college , on the way I finally opened my notes and used probably for the first time in the history of mankind the 100% of my brain capacity to remember every conceivable jargon ever invented in that subject. But fortunately I had studied well in the previous hourly’s so there was 20% retention of those portions and I finally managed to score well (of course having good terms with the examiner helped) . So, having known the paper well ahead of time didn’t work out well for me or for that instance anybody. That was one of the very good lessons I learned the hard way during my four short years in college.
This was the comedy part, but what went inside me while I was roaming around with the LEVEL 3 Classified Paper. Believe me it was not good. The worst part was that I couldn’t due to some obvious reasons reveal the paper to others (I mean other than the two close friends who actually provided me with the Nuclear Secret). So that evening on dinner table I was actually for the first time having difficulty to have eye to eye conversation with my batch-mates. It was harrowing for a guy who was known to have a loose tongue in every respect.
Cheating never worked for me……fortunately

But here we come across a case of a Super Star whose entire extra-ordinary career is based on the foundation of cheating, bullying and deceit. The  guy who doing this also made remarkable quotes, wrote fancy auto-biographies, which indeed became New York times best sellers; read “ It’s not about the bike” of course  it was  about the Syringes, “Every second counts”  may be each shot .
I recently watched the video of Lance’s interview by Oprah. Oprah Winfrey is an Afro- American icon, her talk show is one the most watched shows in America.  And going by some surveys she is currently the most powerful or influential women (beats Sonia Gandhi, Mamta Banerjee and Behenji quite surprising). I had never just taken notice as I had no intention of listening to the blabbering personalities. But believe me she is quite a woman. Her interview with Lance was as if Chitrgupt from the Heaven itself had incarnated just to interrogate him.
And there was no warm up period given to the Champion, questions were shot from the word go. Within just five 20 seconds one gets to know the tone of the interview, she was the DOMNATRIX right from the beginning. The bully was being bullied.  The most exciting or you can say the controversial part which people were looking forward to see was the confession part. Had it been a Indian talk show, our Coffee with Cougar (no pun intended) would have kept that part for the last and may be for week till the channel got its share of eyeballs , but surprisingly this was the first Jacuzzi launched in line of many.
“Yes or No”
 There was no lie-detector test, one look to Lance’s face answered it all, and yes he had done it.
He had cheated the whole world into believing his Herculean triumph.
We the fools……

Transformation ………..

 It was like just another day in my “Amazing” life as Trainee in the ” Amazing”  Tata Motors.
 Bus dropped me at a walking distance from my building. There is park on the way. I used to hit the track regularly in the park  a few weeks back. It also had its own reason. My timing always “co-incidently” matched with the entry of a Hot chick. So, if she started running clockwise, my direction obviously would be anticlockwise or vice-verse . I always ran fast enough to cross her twice per round. But after 4 weeks of “BOLTING” , backaches and calf pulls , she didn’t as much as look at your humble servant . My body finally refused to obey the orders from some vague part and finally the drudgery came to an end. 
At the entry gate of the park there is also a Momo wallah. After 6 pm there is a literally a stampede for the momos/dimsums.  But today me and my flat mate were the first ” Boney customer” for the Momo wallahs. 
He asked to wait for about 10 -15 minutes in the park till our order was ready. No problems here. Its always  good to occupy a nice bench and appreciate the bounties nature has blessed us with. So far so good. There was a variety of people in the park, but majority were with Blank looks and ID cards hanging from their necks , the oppressed class to which i proudly belong  to( abi sirf training chal rahi h tabhi).
We both were sitting silently on the bench, which is impossible had two females been sitting there.
But after some time a young technocrat caught our eye. He was talking so loudly on phone that it didn’t require sherlockian skills to decipher what the conversation was about.
We both exchanged looks and sighed .It was the same gf-bf saga 
kuch to….
suno to….
maine nai…..
sorry ….sorry …Tear- your- hair- apart wala sorry

 It seemed as if he was fighting a court battle for a mass murderer who has pleaded guilty without his knowledge. There was no point. He was getting brick brats from i don’t know which coordinates on earth, but his voice was getting lowered step by step.
So, finally we thought that he had  lost the already lost battle. Maybe for us it was comedy circus but the way he was looking it must have been a matter of life and death. After such a bout of exertion even Muhammed Ali would have asked for water .Our young technocrat found himself a bench next to us .Both his hands were on the bench and his head was pointing towards the heaven.Strangely instead of grim melancholic expression he was as if suppressing a smile.He brought his gaze down from the heaven and took a deep breath and relaxed. The transformation was remarkable.As if some different soul had entered his body. He loosened a button of his shirt , ruffled his hair  and started to whistle. Something inside me was utterly surprised at this spectacle and as soon as i  stood to talk to this Guy.
We heard another whistle , from the momo guy. Steaming overpriced  Momos with Gun Powder Paste were waiting for us.
Hunger pangs won over the curiosity as usual.